So I’ve discovered the most annoying sound in the world:
It’s … a hamster.
But not just any hamster. A toy hamster. And in particular … the little toy hamster that my son Eli got recently.
Why is this hamster so annoying?
Because it’s one of those toys that listens to what you say … and then immediately repeats it in a higher pitch.
Eli can’t get enough of it, and it is …
SO. FREAKING. IRRITATING.
When he gets it, the game always goes the same way …
First it starts with conversation:
“Hello hamster.”
“Hello hamster!”
“How are you?”
“How are you?”
Five minutes later conversation has stopped, and it’s just the same word, 74 times in a row.
“Hamster!”
“Hamster!”
“Hamster!”
“Hamster!”
“Hamster!”
“Hamster!”
And then ten minutes later, it’s just a feral cacophony of sounds that aren’t even words anymore.
“Am adee-adee um um um UM!!!”
“Am adee-adee um um um UM!!!”
“Eh ooh AH EEEHHHH!!”
“Eh ooh AH EEHHHHH!!”
The door of my office is not thick enough to stop the sound coming in. So I beat my head against the desk until Eli’s attention span runs out.
Fun times, I know.
But you think that’s bad?
Well, get this:
Hamsters like this exist in the copywriting world too.
I’ve seen a lot of them.
How can you tell you’re dealing with a copywriting hamster?
Well, it’s obvious they’ve got a favourite teacher … and all they want to do is repeat everything they’ve heard that teacher say, in a more annoying way:
- Joanna Wiebe hamsters squeak about being “conversion copywriters” and stuff their emails full of memes and gifs.
- Ben Settle hamsters squeak about emailing daily and “goo-roos” on Facebook. They use plain-text emails, and they misspell words on purpose.
- Ramit Sethi hamsters love long emails in long, highly-structured funnels that go to long sales pages.
- John Carlton hamsters use “power words” in every line of their copy, and write 60-word headlines on their sales letters.
- Daniel Throssell hamsters make frequent use of the second-person, crack lame jokes, paint ridiculous scenarios in their emails, and—
(An agent in a suit leans in and whispers into my ear. I stop and frown mid-sentence.)
Oh, uh … Apparently it’s not “politically correct” to call out my own hamsters, so … I will not.
And I definitely won’t list all the ways these hamsters rip me off … like copying my little quips after the CTA in every email … constantly breaking the fourth wall and bringing the reader into the story … naming story characters after the reader … imitating my very unique welcome email, ‘The Dark Room’, and even my time-travel remote autoresponder sequence … yep. I won’t talk about the copywriters who I’ve seen join my list and start doing that. Not a word. 🤭 … so anyway, where was I? Oh, right.
Anyway, I’m not saying any of these things the hamsters copy are necessarily good or bad.
Well, all the things they steal from me are good, that’s why I came up with them 🤷♂️
But each time, the hamster is only squeaking back views from whoever they learned from. It’s easy to spot … and it makes them look like perpetual amateurs.
So if you’re a copywriter reading this, the lesson should be obvious:
Don’t be a copywriting hamster.
Come up with your own style and techniques, using your own personality, rather than being a cheap rip-off of someone else’s. It’s the single best way to stand out in a sea of copywriters.
And if you’re not a copywriter — but you’re looking for one — well, you’re better off dealing with someone who’s forged his own style, rather than some hamster.
i.e. somebody like me.
Want to do that?
“Just click here to get on my waitlist.”
“Just click here to get on my waitlist!”
Gahhhhhhh …
Daniel Throssell