Haha, I just got this in an email from a big company:
“Click here to unsubscribe, or send an unsubscribe request to the postal address above.”
A postal address?
… I can SNAIL MAIL you to unsubscribe?
Okay guys here’s my letter:
Please find attached my request to unsubscribe henceforth from thy company’s most splendid email services on This the Four and Twentieth Day of June, The Year of Our Lord 2020.
While the quality of thy company’s communications hath never been in doubt, it is with sincere regret that I advise my “In” box is simply burdened at present, and cannot abide further encumbrance.
I trust my concerns shall be attended unto with the utmost of haste.
D. James Throssell”
Yeah, yeah, there’s a link too. But it just amuses me they’d even offer a snail mail option to unsubscribe. Email dinosaurs. 🦖
I mean, the only person who’s going to use this option is 73-year-old Cecil. And he’s going to sit there for weeks while he waits for his letter to arrive … wondering why he keeps getting new messages “in The Email”, and shouting at his computer screen.
If someone is even thinking of unsubscribing … you should do all in your power to get them to leave, pronto.
A few ways to do that:
1. Mail them a lot
2. Be polarising and outspoken with your views
3. Urge people to unsubscribe
The people you lose didn’t like your brand anyway, and weren’t going to buy. And those who stay are going to be WAY better customers.
They’re the ones you can afford to hit with offers for your stuff … and they’ll thank you for it.
So, need help writing those emails … or even creating the offer you’ll sell them?
And if you want to unsubscribe from MY emails … well, there’s a link below.
And a postal address, if that’s your thing …