You’ll love this one: I found an email I wrote in 2016!
And …
HOLY SMOKES IS IT AWFUL 😳
If someone pitched me with this copy I’d close the email in 10 seconds.
(Especially because the first line was — yep — a question …)
But I figured it’d be good for a laugh if I showed it to you.
So, here it is ….
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Subject: This is the best thing about the Internet
Hi Daniel,
Do you know one of the things I love most about the Internet?
[2020 Daniel: idk … being able to read the new Attack on Titan the day it comes out? 🤷♂️]
No, it’s not Instagram, or online banking, or being able to watch the cricket from anywhere you want (though that stuff is pretty cool).
I can sum it up in one word: Reviews.
[2020 Daniel: … reviews? Well, knock me over with a Tim Tam.]
By that I mean sites like Google, Yelp, ProductReview.com.au and more, which have revolutionised the way we buy things… and made it easier than ever to find out if something is any good before parting with our hard-earned cash for it.
It wasn’t always this way. For example, forty years ago, my father bought a new Ford Falcon.
[2020 Daniel: Is this going anywhere?]
Unlike today, there was no carsales.com.au to do research beforehand. No Redbook to check prices. No Google to look for dealer contact details. No Gumtree to find secondhand options.
Nope. All Dad had to make his decision was fifteen minutes of inspection in the yard… and the word of a car salesman with slicked-back hair and a big grin.
[2020 Daniel: 😴]
Compare that to millennials today deciding where to eat lunch:
Millennial 1 (staring at Facebook on his iPhone 7): “Hey dude, where do you wanna eat?”
Millennial 2 (idly scrolling down Twitter on his Samsung Galaxy): “Dunno man… how about this place across the road?”
Millennial 1 (tapping screen rapidly): “Nah, look at this. 2.4 stars on Google. This one guy reckons the steak was awful and cost way too much. Any other ideas?”
Millennial 2 (flicking through Google): “Hmm, it reckons there’s an Italian place just around the corner there? Reviews look good, lots of five stars. And the pictures look great.”
Millennial 1 (now checking Snapchat): “Mmkay, sounds good.”
[2020 Daniel: With scripting like this … I don’t know how I didn’t end up a Hollywood director!!!
Wait.
Wait, yes I do.]
And off they go, saving themselves from an overpriced, unpleasant meal… all thanks to the power of word of mouth.
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Oh … boy.
I’ll spare you the rest of the email. (Hint: it didn’t get better.)
So what changed? How come now I’m writing emails that people read along with their morning coffee every day?
Simple:
I mentored under a pro copywriter.
In fact, this email was one of the first things I wrote for him. And the reason I remember it so well is the comment he left on it in the Google doc:
“You’re an amazing copywriter, but this one stinks.”
Zing!
That one stung my ego.
At the time, I really believed it was a good email. I was mad for a few days.
But in hindsight, he was doing me a favour.
Because not only were my email writing skills awful … but I didn’t even have the ability to see they were awful.
Yet over the years, with (sometimes blunt) feedback like this on my copy, I got much, much better.
Next week I’m going to be offering a handful of people that same experience in Inbox Detonator, my new coaching program.
The program includes reviews of your copy, as well as unlimited access to me for questions.
But full details are only on the sales page …
… which I’ll only be sending out to people on the waitlist.
And those fools who haven’t clicked that waitlist yet are out of luck … I’ve shut it down early.
But at least you and I are all good.
We can just laugh at those suckers when I open Inbox Detonator …
… wait.
Hang on.
You ARE on the waitlist, right?
NO?!?
Oh, gosh.
This is so embarrassing … I’ve been bragging to everyone else about you.
Sigh.
Okay, c’mon, c’mon. Quickly, click here and I’ll put you on the list.
But don’t tell anyone else about this. And don’t do it again!
Daniel Throssell