TALK ABOUT OPENING A CAN OF WORMS.
I write a few measly lines yesterday about getting a COVID vaccine …
And a bunch of people
lose the plot 🤷♂️
Some people were clearly very threatened by my personal choice that did not affect them in any way.
Of course, I can’t resist making fun of some of the responses I got.
So grab your popcorn.
Prepare to laugh, scream or unsubscribe.
(Maybe all three.)
And let’s kick things off with these words
from a very angry man …
“Why don’t you keep your medical advice to yourself. What do you know about completely safe? Please remove my email from your list.”
Hey, buddy, a free tip:
If you seriously read my lead, missed the sarcasm, and interpreted it as medical advice …
You do not have the reading comprehension abilities needed to write persuasive copy.
I’m actually not even joking.
(Just in case you couldn’t tell the difference … again)
If you truly can’t detect nuance in copy …
(Hint: the part where I joked about it affecting my ‘ovaries’ should have tipped you off)
You should give up on your dream of becoming a copywriter.
You just don’t have it in you.
I’m sorry to break it to ya.
I wish you all the best in your future (non-copywriting) career.
Next up was
You mean, you got your gene therapy which has recently been re-defined as vax. Though it has low to none immune boosting capacity.
Yes, that certainly will increase the need for even average copywriters soon. Once the current genetically modified ones begin to drop off.
Yikes! I’m gonna die? Sounds scary!
But, this response actually gets to the heart of this matter:
It’s about FEAR.
Sure, liberals fear COVID to an irrational degree.
That’s why they are willing to force stupid things like mass masking and lockdowns that crush people’s livelihoods — just to keep themselves ‘safe’ from the virus.
But in the same way …
Many conservatives fear the vaccine
to an irrational degree.
They’ll read and watch for hours as “experts” (whom they would have dismissed as crackpots two years ago) tell them scary bedtime stories about all the dangers of the evil vaccine.
And they eat it up … becoming just as scared as the ‘cowardly’ liberals they love to mock.
Either way, this has all become a pandemic of fear.
Narratives of fear are the best persuasion technique in existence.
They hack your psyche … make you paranoid … and change all your behaviour.
Note, unlike all these ‘experts’ writing to me, I’m not claiming to be an expert on vaccines. So I don’t know if these horror stories are true or false, and that’s not really my point.
Point is … I am an expert on persuasion.
And I can tell you … the way this fear narrative has gripped people (whether from the virus or the vax) is a very powerful education for copywriters.
Mr. Genius was here to point out
how stupid I am:
why would you honestly get the vaccine…
how could you be so smart … yet so stupid
I mean … I have a clinically tested IQ of 155, know five languages, play three instruments, graduated with first class honours as an electrical engineer, have memorised large portions of the New Testament verbatim, and started a successful copywriting business.
It seems I’m actually dumber than this guy.
He, after all, happens to be the WORLD’S #1 MOST QUALIFIED VACCINE EXPERT.
Can’t believe I had the privilege of having a world-famous Nobel-laureate scientist on MY little ol’ email list!
This is getting long,
so one more:
“Good luck taking part in the experimental jab, and hope you got a lolly pop or donut.
I gather the only reason you got this was in the hope of having more freedom than the un-jabbed.”
Thanks for your condescension, sweetheart 😘
But I actually do NOT approve of ‘different freedoms’ for the unvaxxed.
And I do NOT approve of mandatory (or coerced) vaccines.
This is a horrible idea. It’s against the entire premise of a liberal democracy.
So no, I didn’t get a vaccine to get ‘more freedom’.
I got it for the same reason I got every other vaccine in my life that I was happy to take without being an ‘armchair expert’ on how it was made:
To not get the disease 🤪
Here’s the bottom line:
I’ve lived my entire life trusting expert advice in fields I’m not personally an expert in.
I can’t know everything.
But I’ve found that life works quite well when I don’t assume everything is a conspiracy that’s out to get me.
That doesn’t prove I’m right, of course.
But … I’ve seen insufficient evidence to change that worldview.
I have not found any evidence that the thousands of medical researchers worldwide who have spent their lives working on vaccines — and who recommend taking this thing — have suddenly all plotted together to start lying to me.
Therefore, thinking logically:
The rational thing to do is to continue behaving the way I did before.
And that means trusting the experts, like I always have.
And getting a vaccine, like I always have.
(And — I might add — like most people always have, before the worldwide boom in ‘vaccine experts’ …)
Somehow, I feel like this sensible ‘middle road’ has been drowned out in all this hysteria about endless lockdowns (stupid), mandatory masking (stupid), vax mandates (stupid), vax passports (stupid), conspiracy theories (stupid), and a bunch of other stupid stuff.
Everyone seems to think they’re a “free thinker” these days, left or right … yet an awful lot of the “free thinkers” tend to end up thinking pretty similar to all the other “free thinkers” on their side of the political aisle.
Hence why my view in this email is probably offending 90%+ of the people reading it. Because I don’t fall into either camp.
But that’s fine.
Being offended is good for the soul. Toughens you up.
(Or makes you unsubscribe, which I also don’t mind. If you can’t handle an opinion you disagree with, you’re not a great fit here.)
Still, a parting thought for everyone who got so worked up:
If you, O ‘defender of individual liberties’, seriously get so triggered by a conservative who is joking about his personal choice to get a vaccine?
You need to take a chill pill.
… unless, of course, said chill pill was approved by the FDA.
In which case … yeah, it’s probably going to make you infertile or something 😉
P.S. I also got another reply to yesterday’s email that wasn’t about vaccines:
“You seriously need a proof reader … This sentence:
The have no benefit.
Clearly should read They have no benefit.
Reminds highly skilled and sought after copywriter that attention to detail is paramount and a small error can destroy otherwise great work!!!”
I appreciate her attempts to help.
(Even if it’s amusing that THIS is the part that got her to reply … considering what this entire email has been about so far)
But while I do hate it when I send out an email with a typo …
I would much rather be the guy who writes a new email every day and makes a few typos in some … than the guy who writes one grammatically-perfect email per week.
Besides, that email that was supposedly ‘destroyed’ by my typo? It made over $700 in sales … and got a ton of engagement that allowed me to write today’s sales email.
(If it ain’t broke …)
So if you want to know how to write emails that make sales even with typos … and even when they infuriate a large proportion of your readers … opt in for my emails below and see how it’s done.