Or at least, I’m trying to hide.
But it’s not working.
I’ve been found …
It’s the PERFUME.
It’s seeping under my door … through the cracks … and filling my office.
And it smells like … other ladies.
You see, right now there are several women in my house.
Because Hayley has decided to host her mothers’ group at our place today … so I’ve been hiding in my office.
I’m actually really hungry. I forgot to bring food in here and I want to go get some. But I’ve managed to go two hours so far, and it’d be totally weird to go out NOW and do the whole “oh hi, I’m Hayley’s husband, nice to meet you and all your screaming children, I quite like screaming children myself, haha, well would you look at that, my coffee is done so bye”
So instead, I’m going to use the time productively and tell you a little story to make your emails better …
I got an email from a very well-known copywriter the other day that surprised me.
I mean, this person is supposed to be an A-lister. They should know better.
But no … there at the end of their email was a line that I would only expect from a rookie.
Here’s what it said:
“Why are you receiving this email? Probably because you signed up for ____ on my website.”
i.e. a reminder on “why you’re getting emails from me.”
Most email services encourage you to include something like that in your emails.
But it’s … totally stupid 😊
Because if you are contacting your list so infrequently that they FORGET WHO YOU EVEN ARE, you are doing it — say it with me, Tim — WROOOOOOONGGGGG!!!
(Mr. A-list Copywriter hangs his head in shame and walks to his seat while Tim smiles smugly.)
Now, does that you should mean you should be obnoxious and mail daily, like me?
I mean, you have to be prepared for comments like this:
“SO irritating and unhelpful”
Which is the message one lady sent me earlier — seconds before she
hurled herself out of the plane without a parachute unsubscribed from my emails.
(And it only took me mailing her FIFTY-FIVE DAYS IN A ROW for her to find the unsubscribe link 😂)
But you know what?
That was the first unsubscribe I’ve had in weeks (and it’s not for lack of trying … I’ve been obnoxious lately).
See, regular emails do two things:
– They drive away the unengaged people 👆 who were never going to buy from you
– They build a deeper bond with the people who like you, ‘cause those people hear from you more than from your competitors.
(Yeah, I see you there in your I ❤️️ Daniel T-shirt.)
And if you do your emails right?
You shouldn’t NEED to remind people where they signed up to your list.
Au contraire, my dear. Your email should be so interesting that they’re like, “I don’t care where I found you — WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!?”
But if my emails aren’t doing that for you, that’s fine.
In fact, if you find my emails “SO irritating and unhelpful” …
Please click the ‘Unsubscribe’ link below to stop them, with a minimum of fuss.
You will be summarily ejected from the plane without a parachute and left to tumble to your own demise.
Feel free to leave a disgusted comment as you go — and make it detailed, too. They make great fodder for my emails!
In the meantime, I’ll get back to waiting for these mamas to go home.
Man, I’m hungry …