So I’m trying to redo my home office right now.
Problem is, it’s on the south side of my house.
“What’s wrong with that?” ask all the weird people in the Northern Hemisphere.
“Because in Australia, that is the cold, sad and dark side,” I reply.
It’s usually a bit gloomy for my liking.
Because when I step out into my open-plan living area for a coffee, I am greeted with bucketfuls of glorious sunshine …
… which only makes it more depressing to walk back into my cold blue office.
So I decided to jump on Upwork and hire an interior designer.
I posted my job, and went to bed.
The next morning I had 24 proposals (!) which I had to go through.
Most of them started like this:
“Hello, my name is NAME. I am an interior designer, I have been working as project interior designer of BRAND for four years, designing offices, kitchens, bathrooms, walk-in closets etc.”
Some were a little better:
“Hello Daniel, I see that you need help by professional design and 3D Visualizations of your home office. I can help and start right away! I’m a great fit for this role because as Interior Designer …”
In this case, he used my name, and tried to relate to my problem. It’s not bad.
But can you see the problem?
It still sounds like the good old “call centre / Apple help forum” response: “Hi, I understand you have the problem of <repeat the person’s words to them like a robot>. I’d love to help you with that …”
In other words, I can tell this guy is using a script. And even if it’s a good script, I hate that.
Yet here’s the one that got my first click:
Based on your description and photo, a fresh lighting design could do a lot there. Usually the problems you have are easily solvable with some extra light-source and work specific furniture and layout.
This kind of small places what I like to work on, because they need more thinking, rather then just a pile of money.
IKEA furniture sounds good, as they are bright coloured and easy to furnish with.
Let me know If i can help you,
This guy nailed it.
In fact, it might just be the best Upwork pitch I have ever seen — and it’s only 81 words!!!
Let’s pick this one apart:
- He immediately lets me know he’s read my job post: “Based on your description and photo”
- Instead of TELLING me how good he is, he SHOWS me by immediately ‘teasing’ me with a suggestion: “a fresh lighting design could do a lot there.”
- Shows me that he’s an expert by giving a solution he knows: “Usually the problems you have are easily solvable with some extra light-source and work specific furniture and layout.” (note the BRILLIANT use of the word ‘usually’, which implies a lot: “I have seen not just jobs where this was the case, but jobs where it wasn’t, and I know how to tell the difference”)
- Shows he’s genuinely enthusiastic about my job with a REAL, thoughtful reason: “This kind of small places what I like to work on, because they need more thinking”
- Suggests he’s not going to be expensive: “rather then just a pile of money”
- Subtly flatters me by affirming my choice (I mentioned I wanted to use Ikea furniture to furnish it): “IKEA furniture sounds good, as they are bright coloured and easy to furnish with.”
- Calls me to action with a casual question. “Let me know If i can help you, Dan”
See how every single line achieved a function?
If you work on Upwork, this is a great way to think about your pitches.
And, take it from me — I know what a good pitch looks like. When I was on Upwork, I went from zero to $200/hr in my first year (I think I kicked off “Upwork inflation” … the average rate of copywriters suspiciously started to rise after I began charging so much). And even though I haven’t done a job there in ages … I still think I’m the most ripped-off copywriter on Upwork. To this day, if you search the first line of my Upwork profile, you get a bunch of imitators …
Anyway, so I was talking to my friend Steven from Challenger Digital the other day.
He’s the genius behind one of the most successful Upwork courses on the Internet (and the one that started my career). And we floated the idea of doing a joint venture on an Upwork course some day.
Honestly, it’s almost scary to think how good you could be if you had both of us teaching you our secrets.
If you’d be interested in that?
Better join my list for any announcements.
No promises on when (or even if) we do it, though. Just an idea for now …