“Uh … is this that copywriting island again?” you wonder aloud. “That one with Daniel’s lab on it?”
For some reason, your stupid time-travel remote has landed you somewhere else on the island again.
“Got to get Daniel to give me a new one of these,” you mumble to yourself, shoving the remote into your pocket.
You look around, but you don’t recognise any landmarks. So you start walking through the oddly-coloured trees.
As you trudge, strange noises and screeches echo from the distance. Above you, a shadow whips past through the tree canopy. You look up, but it’s already gone.
“Ugh, please tell me that wasn’t a monkey,” you mutter. “I hate monkeys. Never in ten million years would I want to run into one of those on this island.”
(As you say it, for a fleeting instant, you have this odd … premonition. For a moment, you see yourself running through a mist … escaping something … while shotgun blasts ring out. But then it passes, and you shrug it off.)
You come up to a thick tangle of vines and leaves.
You push them aside, and …
… find yourself staring at a large clearing in the middle of the jungle.
You step into it cautiously and look around.
“Hello?” you call out. “Daniel? Are you there?”
… no answer.
You walk into the middle of the clearing.
“Heh,” you chuckle. “Almost reminds me of one of those video game boss battles—”
Then you freeze.
Was that … a noise behind you?
The hair on your neck stands up as you spin around …
… to see a little hamster, hissing at you.
You stare for a second … then burst out laughing.
“So THIS is the ‘copywriting hamster’ Daniel was warning me about?” you laugh to yourself. “Ha! As if I have anything to worry about with THAT!”
The hamster lunges at your shoe and bites it.
“Shoo, ya little pest!” you say, kicking it away.
The little hamster goes flying off into some distant bushes.
You smirk and turn to leave, when—
A deafening screech echoes through the clearing.
Your blood goes cold for a second.
You turn around again …
… and see a GIANT hamster standing where you just kicked the little hamster.
And … he looks mad.
You swallow. “I, uh … your little friend there … it was an accident, I swear …”
The giant hamster takes a few steps towards you, rattling the ground as it steps.
Oh … dear.
Then, it opens its mouth … and with frightening speed, starts bounding towards you.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
You turn to run — but your foot catches a root and you fall over. You look back desperately, to see the giant hamster bearing down on you.
And you realise …
You’re not going to make it.
“DAAANIEEELLLL!!!!” you cry to the heavens. “WHY DID YOU DRAG ME INTO THIS HORRIBLE PARALLEL WORLD!”
You close your eyes and wait for the end.
And then, just as the hamster is about to devour you …
A voice rings out from the other side of the clearing.
Suddenly you hear a thundering noise, like a herd of animals charging at you.
You open your eyes and turn your head around — and gasp.
It’s possibly the strangest sight you’ve ever seen …
A dozen camels, fire streaming from their backs, charging across the clearing towards the hamster.
The giant hamster bares its teeth at the flaming camels … before turning its fluffy tail and bounding off into the forest, chased by the camels.
You’re still staring at them when two other camels walk up beside you … with people riding on them.
You recognise one of them:
It’s … me. Daniel Throssell.
The other is a tall, Indian-looking guy, with a scimitar hanging from his side, a turban, and his face covered with a scarf.
Then … the Indian guy pulls down his face scarf and speaks in a crisp, polished British accent:
“Bloody hell, that was the biggest hamster I’ve ever seen!”
“Yet another of the surprises this island holds,” I say grimly.
I get off my camel and look at you. “Are you okay?”
“I … think so,” you stammer, standing to your feet. “Who is the Indian guy?”
“Pffft, the Indian guy?” says the mystery man, jumping off his camel. “Don’t judge me by the get-up. I live in London, mate.”
“Allow me to introduce you to my friend Shiv Shetti,” I say.
“In the real world,” I continue, “Shiv teaches freelance copywriters how to land high-paying retainer clients with his ‘flaming camel’ system. In my parallel world, he’s just some weird guy who rides around and saves hapless characters with flaming camels.”
“Here,” says Shiv, handing you a business card. “If you’re a copywriter, go here and you can check out my real-world flaming-camel system. I can show you my repeatable process for landing $5k-a-month copywriting retainers on demand.”
You reach out to take the card — but I grab your wrist before you can touch it.
“That’s an affiliate link, you know,” I say. “Know that before you click. Shiv and I work closely together, so let’s not be under any mistaken impressions.”
I let your arm go. You take Shiv’s card and put it in your pocket.
“Anyway, I’ll be off now,” says Shiv. “I’ll leave a spare camel for the new bloke here.”
He sticks his fingers into his mouth and whistles — and his dozen flaming camels run towards him obediently. He nods his head towards me — then charges off into the forest, camels in tow.
You stare after him with your mouth hanging open.
“Quit staring and let’s get moving,” I say, jumping onto my camel. “We need to get back to the lab. And on the way, I need to warn you about those copywriting hamsters I was telling you about in my email.”
“Warn me?” you say, mounting your camel. “Too late! One of them nearly just killed me!”
I look across at you.
“THAT? That wasn’t a copywriting hamster,” I say. “That was merely a giga-hamster.”
“A … giga-hamster?”
“That’s right,” I say, as we ride. “Large, yes. Violent, yes. But deadly to your copywriting career? Not at all.”
I turn up my chin and chuckle knowingly.
“Hah, to think that you thought that thing had anything to do with copywriting. Come on, let me tell you about copywriting hamsters …”
(Story continues in your inbox)
P.S. Want to learn more about Shiv’s “flaming camel” system for landing $3k-$5k copywriting retainers on demand? Check out his site here. And like I said, that’s an affiliate link. I have looked at his program myself and it comes with my highest recommendation … so as the savvy marketer I am, of course I had to ask him for an affiliate link.