In front of you stands a young, go-getter looking guy in his early thirties.
The smoking ray-blaster in his hand shows he was the one who just vaporised the mentor.
He wears a trendy haircut (shaved sides, slicked-over top) … a flashy blazer over a tee-shirt … and slightly-short track pants that reveal bare ankles over his shoes.
He also has a lapel mic clipped to his blazer — like the ones speakers use at conferences.
Overall, you get the impression he wants you to think he’s uber-hip and trendy.
“Who are you?” you ask.
He winks at you.
“I’m just an ORDINARY guy who went from ZERO to building an EIGHT-FIGURE business with the power of STORYSELLING!”
“Well … why did you just kill that nice old man?”
“Because the OLD WAYS of storytelling are DEAD!” he says. “FORGET the Hero’s Journey! I’m here to help YOU tell stories that have your audience DESPERATE for your every word!”
You catch a glimpse of his ray-blaster.
It’s printed with the word:
He catches you staring at it.
“Oh, you’re interested in learning my Secret Technique for Over-Riding Your Suspicions to my Exaggerations & Ludicrous Lies?”
You cast a last look at the pile of smoking ash that was the Mentor.
“Uh … sure,” you say. “I mean, it certainly seems more powerful than the Hero’s Journey. I guess I’m interested in hearing more.”
The storyselling guru grins…
And without missing a beat, replies:
“‘YOU’RE AN EMBARRASSMENT!!!’
My dad yelled those words to me…
And it felt like my world was about to collapse.
I’d just told him I wanted to become a copywriter…
Which meant giving up on his dream of me going to college for—”
“Wait, wait, wait!”
You interrupt the story in confusion.
“I asked you a simple question! How does this story have anything to do with it?”
The storyseller looks at you, miffed at the interruption.
“I was getting you HOOKED by leading with a GRIPPING STORY that would then lead into my product.”
“Huh? You just started with some random unattributed dialogue!”
“Yeah … that’s how I tell stories that get people HOOKED and SALIVATING to buy like RABID DOGS!”
“Actually,” you say, “it felt really weird and unnatural, and didn’t even make me want to keep listening, let alone buy. Why not start with the point?”
“Because … I tell stories that SELL!”
You roll your eyes.
“Anyway, I’m still interested in learning more about your product. Tell me about it.”
The storyselling guru draws a breath … and replies:
I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing…
And rolled over to check the clock.
It was two in the morning…
And when I saw who it was calling me…
My heart stopped.
It had been YEARS since I’d heard from—”
You interrupt the guru again.
“Can’t you just … talk to me normally?!?” you yell in frustration. “Without starting EVERYTHING in the middle of some dramatic moment with no context?!?”
The storyselling guru just stares at you like you’re speaking a foreign language.
“This is COPYWRITING,” he says. “This is how I start EVERY single post I ever write in copywriting Facebook groups! It’s how you tell stories people CAN’T stop reading!”
“YOU ARE LITERALLY JUST STARTING ALL DIALOGUE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME IRRELEVANT SCENE!”
The storyselling guru lets out a big sigh.
“Well, YOU keep INTERRUPTING me before I get to the part you want to know!”
“Then why don’t you just start at the part I want to know?!?” you cry. “Seriously! Is there some copywriting reason for this?”
The storyselling guru draws a breath and begins his answer:
“A few years ago, Joe Testimonial was spending 8 hours on the phone every day talking to rude, irate customers as a customer-service rep.
‘I knew I needed to get away from there,’ he said.
Joe wanted to achieve more with his life…”
“AAAAAAGHHHH!” you scream, throwing your hands up in frustration.
But just as you do…
Before your eyes, there’s a lightning-fast blur…
…and the storyselling guru is just…
And then you look up in the air to discover…
The dragon from the top of the mountain has snatched up the storyselling guru … and devoured him in one gulp!
The dragon hovers in the air above you as it swallows its meal…
…then it turns to face you.
You stand there, paralysed with horror at the poor guru’s fate, and fear of the dragon…
When a voice beside you stuns you:
“My, my … what a mess.”
A THIRD storytelling guru?!?
You snap your head around…
…and instantly, you realise that this is going to be the WILDEST of the three…