Previous episode: Your First Taste Of (Email) Time-Travel
JUST as you’re about to cross the finish line…
I make an unexpected dive, with my arm outstretched.
But instead of diving for the finish line…
I dive towards your hand … which still holds a time-travel remote!
As my fingers push the button of the remote…
The stadium fades away, and you feel the familiar rush of falling 24 hours forward in time.
(Thankfully, your clothes return in the process. Whew.)
But this time…
You don’t end up back in my lab.
Nor is there any sign (yet) of the promised “Ru___” from my “Email Copywriting Compendium” from the last email (whatever that was supposed to be).
You find yourself
on a beach.
In front of you is a vast expanse of ocean. You can’t see any signs of land anywhere else.
You turn and look around.
Behind you is the shoreline of a remote island. Thick forest lines the coast. From somewhere inside it, you hear disturbing roars and screeches.
The hair on your arms stands up a little bit.
Is this the strange copywriting island you saw out the window the first time you used your time-travel remote?
But … why are you out here now? On the coast?
You’re not sure what’s going on … but something doesn’t feel right.
You slowly turn to look the other way, when—
A figure jumps out in front of you and startles the living daylights out of you.
“EEEEEEEEEEK!” you squeal. “Who are—”
A hand slams over your mouth.
Then you get a good look at who’s surprised you:
It’s … Daniel Throssell again.
“What on EARTH are you doing outside the lab?” I whisper. “I told you in the first email … it’s dangerous out here. And there’s no way off this island. If you want to live, come with me — quickly. And for goodness’ sake, DON’T scream like that again! They’ll hear!”
“Who’s … ‘they’?” you ask.
But you didn’t need to.
Suddenly, from behind us, something enormous bursts out of the forest … and growls.
It’s like a lion … but it’s three times as big as any lion you’ve ever seen in your life.
Your eyes go wide.
“What … is … that … thing?” you stammer, lifting a finger.
I grit my teeth and scowl as I pull out a machine gun that’s so large it looks comical, and scream:
“Don’t just stand there … RUN!”
We start high-tailing it towards a gap in the forest … while the mega-lion closes in in pursuit.
And then … two more giant lions jump out and join the chase.
“Oh, clickbait!” I curse, firing away as we run.
“HEEEEEEELP!!!” you wail, trying to keep up with me.
(Though from the way you’re running it looks like you spend a little too much time at that desk writing copy … take some exercise breaks now and then, hey?)
You stumble past a pile of rocks that look like they could be covering something.
My oversized machine gun keeps shooting away.
But the mega-lions are tough … and they look hungry.
I manage to take out two with my mad fire …
… but the third keeps coming.
“The lab is just around that corner!” I scream.
I make it to the door and hold it open.
“Come ON!” I scream at you, firing at the beast over your shoulder. “Get in here!”
“I … can’t run … anymore …” you huff, stumbling toward the door.
The mega-lion leaps toward you, and—
The mega-lion goes flying sideways as a sniper round smacks into it …
… and from somewhere you hear a cry:
I reach forward, grab your arm, and pull you in the door — then slam it shut.
You stand there panting. “What just … happened?“
Then you look around.
You’re in a nicely-furnished room that looks somewhat like a sitting-room.
A desk sits in the corner with a small unmarked box on it. One of the walls holds a huge bookshelf full of classic copywriting books you recognise. There are a couple of couches around the room.
Suddenly, someone else
joins us in the room.
It’s a thin American guy with light brown hair, a short beard, and … a sniper rifle, which is still smoking.
“Meet my real-life best friend, Tom Burns,” I say. “My Facebook ad manager, frequent story cameo, and … handy with a sniper rifle in this parallel world. And he just saved your bacon.”
Tom gives you a dirty look — as if to tell you to be more careful next time.
And then he turns and walks away, slinging his sniper rifle over his shoulder.
He has a point, though. That’s where you end up if you unsubscribe from this email list … out there, with those things.
Anyway, that’s enough time on this interim story. Go back to your inbox, where you’ll find a fun little story-based email that shows you how to—
You interrupt my narrative monologue.
(You can’t see my narrator-face right now, but please know that I am very annoyed at this interruption.)
“Before you send me back … you promised me something about an Email Copywriting Compendium … and some word beginning with ‘Ru’,” you protest. “But instead all I got was this weird story about lions!”
“Oh, you mean Rule #5?”
“Rule … number … five?!?” you say. “What on earth is Rule #5?”
I stare at you … and then burst out laughing.
Oh, how naive you are! It’s kinda sweet.
You see …
Both Rule #5 … and the Email Copywriting Compendium that contains it … have been on full display this entire time.
I mean … it’s literally right here.
You look at me, confused …
… until you realise I’m holding up my machine gun.
“THAT machine gun is your ‘Email Copywriting Compendium‘?!?” you say.
Oh … right.
In your world, the Compendium is an, erm…
What do they call it … a, um…
(Whatever those are. Never seen one this side of the parallel timeline.)
But in this parallel world … it takes the form of a machine gun I can use to take out copywriting baddies.
Or … any kind of gun I want.
(I press a button, and before your eyes, the “Compendium” gun transforms into a shotgun.)
As for Rule #5?
Think of it as an ‘ingredient’ that you must add to copy to make it ‘hold attention’.
But if you want to know the specific details, well…
You’ll have to buy the Email Copywriting Compendium to find out 😉
And when you do…
You’ll see how I am using Rule #5 right now to sell you something.
It is something I use in EVERY single email…
And I don’t think I am exaggerating to say it is the single most important aspect of email copywriting in the modern world.
(And no, it is not “curiosity”. Puh-lease. What a lame “secret” that would be. Who do you take me for? Some random on r/copywriting?)
If you want to check out the Email Copywriting Compendium — and discover the Rule #5 that can radically transform your copywriting — you can do that here:
So, since your next email is already in your inbox, you might as well 🤷♂️