You press your time-travel remote, and feel the familiar sensation of jumping forward 24 hours.
“Gee, Daniel, this Parallel Welcome Sequence has been so much fun! I can’t wait to see the next email!” you say, excitedly.
But … I don’t reply.
“Daniel?”
You turn around to look at me …
and gasp.
The smile is gone from my face …
… and on my glasses you swear you can see a tinge of red.
“… Daniel?” you whimper.
“I told you you wouldn’t like this,” I say, in a cold voice. “In fact, for many people, this is the end of the line. They don’t make it past this next email.”
“Huh?”
You look down at your phone.
PING!
A new email arrives.
It’s from Daniel Throssell.
You glimpse at the subject line:
“Please unsubscribe”
You look up at me in shock.
“You don’t … actually mean …” you stammer.
I walk over to the door, unlock it, and hold it open. Outside, a blizzard rages. Terrifying roars echo from the forest surrounding my lab.
“Read the email,” I say. “And then decide what you want to do. The door’s open.”
Well?
What are you waiting for?
Get over to your inbox.
And in case this is the end … well, it was fun while it lasted.