You press the button on your time-travel remote.
Suddenly, everything goes black.
The inside of my copywriting laboratory — where you were being held prisoner just a few minutes ago — disappears from view.
And … you start falling.
“AAAAAAGGHHHH!”
Your voice echoes through the emptiness as you tumble through an endless void.
Stars streak past you. In the distance you can dimly make out galaxies billions of light-years away.
“Why … did I join … Daniel Throssell’s … email liiiiiist …” you scream as you hurtle through space.
For what seems like eternity, you’re simply … falling.
And then, suddenly—
THUD!
You land on … sand?
Yep. It’s definitely sand.
Dusting yourself off, you stand up to find yourself standing on a beach.
In front of you is a vast expanse of ocean. You can’t see any signs of land anywhere else.
You turn and look around …
and what you see shocks you.
You’re standing on the shoreline of some remote island.
Thick forest lines the coast. And from somewhere inside it, you hear disturbing roars and screeches.
The hair on your arms stands up a little bit.
You’re not sure where you are … but something really doesn’t feel right.
You slowly turn to look the other way, when—
“Hey!“
A figure jumps out in front of you and startles the living daylights out of you.
“EEEEEEEEEEK!” you squeal. “Who are—”
A hand slams over your mouth.
Then you get a good look at who’s surprised you:
It’s … Daniel Throssell again.
“What on EARTH are you doing outside the lab?” I whisper. “I told you in the welcome email … it’s dangerous out here. And there’s no way off this island. If you want to live, come with me — quickly. And for goodness’ sake, DON’T scream like that again! They’ll hear!”
“Who’s … ‘they’?” you ask.
But you didn’t need to.
Suddenly, from behind us, something enormous bursts out of the forest … and growls.
It’s like a lion … but it’s three times as big as any lion you’ve ever seen in your life.
Your eyes go wide.
“What … is … that … thing?” you stammer, lifting a finger.
I grit my teeth and scowl as I pull out a machine gun that’s so large it looks comical, and scream:
“Don’t just stand there … RUN!”
We start high-tailing it towards a gap in the forest … while the mega-lion closes in in pursuit.
And then … two more giant lions jump out and join the chase.
“Oh, crap!” I curse, firing away as we run.
“HEEEEEEELP!!!” you wail, trying to keep up with me.
(Though from the way you’re running it looks like you spend a little too much time at that desk writing copy … take some exercise breaks now and then, hey?)
Thwap-thwap-thwap-thwap!
My oversized machine gun keeps shooting away as we run.
Two of the lions get hit and fall away — but one keeps coming.
“The lab is just around that corner!” I scream.
I scramble to the door and hold it open.
You round the corner behind me … but the last mega-lion is close on you. And gaining.
“Come ON!” I shout, firing at the beast over your shoulder. “Get in here!”
“I … can’t run … anymore …” you huff, stumbling toward the door.
But it’s clear you’re not going to make it.
The mega-lion leaps toward you.
You close your eyes and wait for the end—
THWACK!
The mega-lion goes flying sideways as a sniper round smacks into it …
… and from somewhere you hear a cry:
“Hoo! ‘MERICA!“
I reach forward, grab your arm, and pull you in the door — then slam it shut.
You stand there panting. “What just … happened?“
Suddenly, someone else joins us in the room.
It’s a thin American guy with light brown hair, a short beard, and … a sniper rifle, which is still smoking.
“Meet my real-life best friend, Tom Burns,” I say. “My Facebook ad manager, frequent story cameo, and … handy with a sniper rifle in this parallel world. And he just saved your bacon.”
Tom gives you a dirty look — as if to tell you to be more careful next time.
And then he turns and walks away, slinging his sniper rifle over his shoulder.
So anyway.
I hope you’re getting the idea of how this Parallel Welcome Sequence goes:
In your real-world email inbox, you get regular emails from ‘real’ Daniel Throssell, every 24 hours.
But if you click the ‘time-travel remote’ links at the end of each email …
You can ‘jump forward’ in time 24 hours, to get your next email immediately.
Think of it as turning a welcome series … into a Netflix-style bingeing experience.
But even more importantly …
Every time* you use the time-travel remote … you end up here. In this parallel dimension, on this remote copywriting island of mine. Where, as you’ve just seen … some weird things can happen.
*Okay, you won’t come here every time you use it. There are a few exceptions as you will see … but we will leave them as a surprise for now…
Here’s a picture to give you the sense of it:
If it hurts your head, don’t worry about it.
Just know that … if you click the links at the bottom of each email, you move the story forward, and get your next email immediately, without waiting.
It’ll make sense after you try it a few times.
And to get you on your way … I’ve just sent your next email in this series to your email inbox.
(UNLESS, of course, you copied the link for this page and pasted it, rather than actually clicking the time-travel remote button. If you did that, nothing on this page applies, and you will need to go back to your email and actually click it this time.)
Well, what are you waiting for?
Go check your inbox!
(Oh, and it’s possible that email might have landed somewhere outside your Primary inbox … like ‘Updates’ or ‘Promotions’. So drag it back into ‘Primary’ and give those geeks at Google a what-for, won’t you? I know, I almost NEVER do this when people ask me. Probably neither do you. But then again … you’ve never been on an email list like this one. Just trust me on this. You can always unsubscribe later if they aren’t to your liking …)
P.S. A common question I get right about now from people in this sequence is: “Do you have any products?”
The answer is yes, yes I do.
You can see them all here.