You throw open the lid of the box … and find a new item!
Tucking the item into your pocket, you turn back in time to catch my explanation:
“As I was saying, THIS is where all the clients are, cash in hand, with jobs they’re ready to hire for…
I gesture back to the tall tower rising up through the fog.
Your mouth hangs open in dismay.
“Your magical client-getting method is … UPWORK?!?”
“Don’t knock it ‘till you’ve tried it. Upwork made me an industry-famous copywriter. Well, with what I teach in Email Celebrity of course.”
“But everyone knows that—”
An obnoxiously loud voice cuts you off as it booms:
“THERE ARE NO
GOOD CLIENTS ON UPWORK!!!”
The voice echoes around the base of the tower.
You spin around, startled…
…and see a giant … blimp?!?
On the side of the blimp — in giant painted letters — are the initials:
“Ah,” I remark coldly. “Our client-getting friends are back.”
(Sure enough, you spot the animals from the fog, now in the cockpit of the blimp.)
The blimp hovers in the air, circling the clearing around the tower.
Out of an enormous loudspeaker, it booms out its message of discouragement:
“COPYWRITERS OF UPWORK! DESPAIR AND QUIT! UPWORK IS FOR BOTTOM-FEEDERS! THERE’S TOO MUCH COMPETITION AND NO GOOD JOBS! IF YOU WANT CLIENTS, COME TO US WITH HEARTS FULL OF HOPE AND POCKETS FULL OF DOLLARS!”
For the first time … you see who it’s speaking to.
Around the base of Upwork Tower — and trying to climb its walls — are hundreds of shadowy figures you recognise as copywriters.
“Every level you climb Upwork Tower means a higher hourly rate,” I explain. “But most copywriters never get beyond the lowest levels … because the S.C.A.M. crew are always baiting copywriters with that nonsense.”
You see many copywriters hear the S.C.A.M. message of despair…
Quit their climb up Upwork Tower…
And walk over to the S.C.A.M. blimp, arms outstretched.
A tractor beam sucks up willing victims…
And from inside the blimp, you hear their screams as they’re fleeced of thousands of dollars … then dropped back to earth, without a single client to show for it.
My brow darkens.
“Come on. I’m going to show you there’s another side to this story.”
“Where are we going?” you ask.
I point up to where the tower disappears into the clouds.
“Up there? But that’s, like, $100/hr or more! I’ve never seen anyone consistently make it that high on Upwork!”
“That’s because you haven’t got your Upwork in One Hour jetpack yet,” I say, handing you a jetpack like mine. “Here, put this on … then push that button there. It’s the secret to breaking into Upwork.”
You look down at the button I’m pointing to … and let out a cry of surprise.
“The secret to breaking into Upwork is THAT word?!?”
And with irresistible curiosity…
You reach towards the button, and…
Or return to your inbox for a new email…