“Now,” roars Lord Bockenswipe, “you shall taste the fearsome power of my hamster-chuks!”
And as he holds his hands outstretched…
His hamsters bite one another in the tail, forming two hamster-chains…
…which Lord Bockenswipe picks up in each arm!!!
Then, spinning his hamster-chuks in a frenzy…
Lord Bockenswipe charges toward me!
I raise my sword…
And for a few minutes, the unmistakable clang of steel-on-hamster is the only sound above the roaring of the mighty waterfall beneath us.
“It’s useless, Daniel!” taunts Lord Bockenswipe. “My copywriter allies and I can copy faster than you can innovate!”
“We’ll see about that,” I reply.
And ducking his next swing…
…I give him a kick that makes him drop his hamsters, and sends him skittling across the outcrop…
And sliding off the cliff!
He desperately grabs the edge … and dangles by his fingertips.
I stand there above him.
“You will NEVER defeat us!” he hisses. “Kill me and a dozen others will pop up in my place! I am an idea! You shall NEVER eradicate plagiarism and unoriginality from the copywriting industry!”
“Perhaps,” I say. “But we’ll see if I can’t defeat you at least. Now you shall taste the wrath of my Campaign Conqueror blade!!!”
And with a flying leap through the air…
I plunge the blade into the edge of the cliff!
With an enormous crack…
The rock simply cleaves in two beneath me.
The part my rival hangs from breaks clean off…
And this time, for real…
Lord Bockenswipe plunges toward the waters below!
In desperation, he lets out a cry to his hamster army, still on the rocky outcrop above.
“Copywriting hamsters! Quick! THINK OF A WAY TO SAVE MEEEEE!” he screams.
The hamsters peer over the edge.
They try to think of an original solution to the problem…
And so they do what copywriting hamsters do best:
And so, with one accord…
Lord Bockenswipe’s entire army of hamsters blindly copies everything he’s doing…
And begin all tumbling off the cliff after him.
“NO!” curses Lord Bockenswipe, as it dawns on him what they’re doing. “WAIT! You FOOLS!!! Forget everything I taught you! Use CONTEXT! DON’T BLINDLY IMITATE ME!!!”
But it’s too late.
His hamsters have been conditioned by his advice to ‘profit swipe’ for far too long.
Imitation is all they’re capable of.
And like a bunch of lemmings … off they go, one by one, until there are none left.
And with a final agonised cry…
(And a bunch of accompanying squeeeeeeeaks…)
Both Lord Bockenswipe and his hamsters tumble down the rocky falls … and disappear into the rapids far below.
You finally make it to my side as I’m peering down into the ravine below.
“He wasn’t wrong,” I say. “More like him will arise. Heck, he probably isn’t even dead. Probably will go on to found a business selling swipe files or something like that.”
As if to confirm my suspicions … you see a black speck far below crawling out of the riverbank.
“But never mind him,” I say. “I trust he’s learned his lesson for now.”
You look at the sword.
“So … is that some anti-swiping product? Campaign Conqueror?”
“Actually, no,” I reply. “It’s my method for creating email campaigns that routinely outsell the world’s ‘best’ copywriters — including the ones like Lord Bockenswipe, who claim to be copywriting experts but really just copy all my ideas.”
In many ways … Campaign Conqueror is some of the most valuable information I sell.
It’s certainly directly put more money in my pocket than ANY of my other courses.
And I daresay it could do the same for any other copywriter who knows my secrets to writing insanely effective email campaigns.
But since I can do a much better sales job on my sales page…
I invite you to check out Campaign Conqueror here:
…or, as usual, you can check your inbox … where another email awaits.