Psst … missed the previous story in the Parallel Welcome Sequence? Click here to read it before you continue
You tap your time-travel remote and find yourself back in the parallel world — this time, comfortably sitting in a chair in my copywriting lab.
I’m standing a few feet in front of you, holding a marker in front of a giant whiteboard.
“Welcome back. All right then, let me give you those 14 words that got me that copywriting job …”
I begin scrawling on the whiteboard:
“So you’re willin—”
The entire room shudders — and we’re both knocked to the floor — as an enormous explosion goes off outside the lab.
You stand up, dazed. “What was THAT—”
“GET DOWN!” I scream, and crash-tackle you to the ground.
And not a second too late, because—
The windows of the lab shatter as bullets start whizzing through the air above our heads.
“What is going ON?!?” you scream.
You look over at me … and see me grimacing.
“I knew they would eventually come for us … but not so soon!” I curse.
“WHO is coming for us?!?” you ask, totally confused.
Bullets keep whizzing through the (now-shattered) windows and slamming into the wall of my lab.
Then for a moment … there’s a brief pause.
I take the opportunity to grab you by the arm, and start running down a hallway and out of danger. As we run, I shout:
“It’s not ‘who’ is coming for us … but ‘what’! It’s the thing copywriters fear the most …”
“The Copywriting AI Skynet!!!”
As we run side-by-side down a narrow corridor, we pass a window.
For a brief second you stop to get a glimpse of what’s happening outside …
And your blood runs cold.
It looks like an apocalyptic scene from Terminator.
More than a dozen enormous robots — each nearly 100 feet tall — are slowly marching across the island.
And in the distance, more are arising out of the ocean, like some real-life version of Pacific Rim.
The copywriting AI robots advance on the island, indiscriminately firing lasers into the trees below.
From inside the forests, you hear high-pitched shrieks of agony.
“It’s the copywriting hamsters,” I say grimly. “The ones that can’t do anything other than squeak back what they heard others teach them. They were always going to be the first to perish from AI. And next up will be …”
In the distance, there’s a bright flash — and a giant mushroom cloud of water vapour ascends into the air.
Your mouth opens in shock. “Did they just nuke …”
I nod. “Yes, that was the Sea of Sameness, from your last visit to this parallel world. All those copywriters who simply followed templates and had nothing to differentiate them. They didn’t stand a chance against AIs with a million times more research and split-testing firepower. But we don’t have time to stand here and watch. Now come ON! We need to get to the Bunker!“
I yank you forward and we run towards a door marked:
The Inbox Detonator Bunker
“Hang on,” you pant as we run. “Is this …”
“Yes, I told you about this last time you were in this world,” I reply. “The Bunker is where I keep all the copy critiques I do for all my private coaching clients. It’s a phenomenal amount of ammunition for copywriters who want the skills to defeat AI. Even watching just a few of them could—”
Before I can finish, the roof ahead of us caves in … and blocks our entry to the Bunker.
And through the new hole in the roof … a giant robot is aiming its laser at us, for a second shot.
“BACK THE OTHER WAY! NOW!” I scream.
I grab your arm and pull you back around another corner.
“Change of plan!” I shout. “It’s too dangerous here. We’re going to have to bring the fight directly to Skynet!”
We run through another door … into a large, circular room lined with computers and machinery.
I run over to one terminal and start typing. Then I point you to another. “Get on that and initiate the roof opening sequence while I ready the turrets!”
You jump on the computer I point to …
… and you notice it has an Internet browser.
And then you remember:
Before everything started exploding here … weren’t you originally going to get some email with the 14 words that got me a $12,000 copywriting job?
Surely the defence of this island can wait … right?
You decide that it can.
And (after checking to make sure I’m not watching) … you quickly log into your emails and check.
There’s one from Daniel Throssell, right there in your inbox.
It can’t hurt to have a quick look at that email now … right?